REASONABLY CLEAN, GENERALLY SOBER, REASONABLY COURTEOUS, OFTEN PUNCTUAL
鈥s it says on my resume. Which is not a bad rant as it happens. Last time I used it was in the music industry which as you might imagine, takes a very casual attitude to the recruiting process. Well it would if it had one. They have a very practical attitude toward recruitment 鈥� put you on, if you work out, you鈥檙e hired. Treads all over standard hiring practice. Like, the interview is the world鈥檚 most common lying event right? Nobody with any sense has ever told the truth at an interview. Mahatma Gandhi lied at his interview… not rilly, just saying. That鈥檚 cos you gotta get paid right? It鈥檚 not immoral, it鈥檚 just trying to put a roof over your head.鈥�
The recruiting process gives me great cause for irritation. It鈥檚 formalized mendacity. Right from the get-go you鈥檙e pretending to be someone else. You dig out your one suit, the $200 model you scored from Best & Less, you hand the dry cleaners your food money, you iron the business shirt you keep on sufferance, then look at your resume. It鈥檚 a crock of lies. You stress over each word, print it again cos you forgot to capitalize a sentence, then decide the font鈥檚 wrong.鈥�
Day of the interview. You鈥檙e short of sleep cos the train allows you to be there 5 minutes or an hour before. Can鈥檛 risk it, I鈥檒l schlep my $40 loafers across town and wait in the park. 0955 looms, you step into reception like you鈥檙e walking into court. Boss greets you, all of a sudden every comatose thing you ever did, every misstep, all mistakes are in the front of your mind.鈥�
Walk into the boardroom. Feels like a police cell and the lights overhead are shining directly in your face. The boss and some guy who鈥檚 there to decide if he likes you start the interview. You make like you鈥檙e the perfect human, invent hopeful expertise, paper over the vast cracks in your personal life.鈥�
And it鈥檚 no better for the employer! I鈥檝e sat on both sides of the interview desk like 30 times, and you don鈥檛 know who you鈥檙e getting. Mr Ambition might be Mr Lethargic, Miss Socialite might be Miss Vindictive, Mr Considerate might be Mr Stalker. Truth told, the world鈥檚 single most efficient hiring practice is nepotism. You know who you鈥檙e getting. You know if you like them and you know if they can do the job. Related is the music industry practice. Instead of 20 minutes鈥� evidence of your prospective colleague鈥檚 worklife, you got two days鈥�!
I like the industry鈥檚 approach to a lot of things. Sure, it鈥檚 run by culprits and staffed by idiots, but they have a very practical approach. Take this gig I did for a film gaffer. Cinephiles are very neat. In the image industries, you have to deliver the job to the next guy on a silver platter. So, he had us running cables up against the wall and straight as a ruler and鈥� you鈥檙e wasting my time, pal. The current has to go from here to there. Quick and dirty is your motto.鈥�
And they鈥檙e fun! Sure, your average roadie is stupid, lazy, arrogant and sly but there are some very interesting conversationalists. An afternoon hanging drape goes so much quicker when your workmate is funny. There鈥檚 lots more to enjoy, too. It鈥檚 gentleman鈥檚 light construction, the gear is modular and there鈥檚 always something to learn.鈥�
Plus, it鈥檚 a theatre of dreams. You run a concert, you鈥檙e selling the punter a small slice of heaven. The band are gods. They鈥檙e funnier than you, know more friends, go to cooler parties and have better …times. That whole paradigm carries out into the industry. Music types are dreamers. They live large, want a big life, abhor the white picket fence. Heaven knows if they hadn鈥檛 lucked into a status job, they鈥檇 be in prison, a nuthouse or on the street.鈥�
And that鈥檚 my 650 words, see you in the funny papers.
Link Wentworth wishes to acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the Land on which we work and pay our respect to the Elders past, present and emerging, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.